


#WifeMeUp

by thecomfortofoldstorries



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, its a stand but we're rollig wit hit, technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:01:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28942608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thecomfortofoldstorries/pseuds/thecomfortofoldstorries
Summary: Jaskier has the hots for his classmate and for once he's going to make a move.If they don't beat him to it.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 34
Kudos: 151





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> there are mentions of possibly triggering class material surrounding ISIS but nothing in detail or gruesome. It's jask complaining about the content.

“This class was fuckin weird. Who the ever-loving _fuck_ puts “Middle Eastern History and English 203 Combined” on the roster then does a miserable current events class with a heavy, and frankly depressing, background on ISIS? Like? Cool, I get it, teach what you’re interested in, but give us some warning?! Maybe write in the description that it’s predominantly covering some fucked up shit? Not way-back-when like one assumes?!” Jaskier had launched into the rant he was planning all yesterday when his coworker asked how the first day of the semester went. 

Essie just nodded at the appropriate times, raising her eyebrows when necessary as she ran cleaning tablets through the espresso machine. 

“My day is already weird enough working here. Plus! Where’s the trigger warning?! Some kids have trauma! How the fuck are they gonna know the first day is a slideshow full of horrific images?! Fucking irresponsible.”

Essie started tamping down some coffee to test the shots, “So are you gonna try to switch into something else?”

Jaskier grinned, his eyes lighting up, “Not a chance.”

She sighed, rolling her eyes and tinkering with the settings on the machine, “Tell me about him.”

“Oh Ess, he’s _gorgeous_. He’s definitely not from the states, but I only caught a few words from him so I can’t place his accent-”

“Ah, yes. The accents always get you.”

“They _do_.” He sighed like a middle schooler in the school play as a car pulled up to their little stand, “There’s more, I promise.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Essie sighed.

Jaskier handed the customer the card reader as he started pulling the shots on the other machine, “He’s so pretty. Holy shit Ess. All jawbone and eyebrows. And his _hair_. I wanna know who does it because it is _pure white_ and it still looks healthy? He’s probly my height but he looks like he could break a linebacker in half. Oof. He’s one whole lotta man, and you know me, I’m a sucker for a good set of shoulders. He doesn’t strike me as the athletic type though, ripped jeans, wallet chain, Soundgarden t shirt, flannel in his belt. Mm. Tall grunge drink of water.” he paused to hand off the customer’s beverage and take the card reader back, “ _And his eyes are fucking gold, I shit you not._ ”

Essie gave him a skeptical look, “Gold? You mean light brown?”

He shook his head aggressively, “I. Mean. Gold. Straight up sunflower eyes.”

She still didn’t look like she believed him, “He must actually be hot if you’re this excited.”

It was Jaskier’s turn to roll his eyes, “I’m not that much of a hoe.”

“Not a hoe, you never follow through.” She teased.

_

Before they headed out to their classes, Jaskier made them each the most ridiculously caffeinated and sugar loaded drink he can think of, as is tradition. 

He took a picture of his latte art and posted it straight to twitter with the caption “Quad caramel, toffee, burnt marshmallow, and hazelnut breve (with a penis heart) #wifemeup” then topped the drink with as much whipped cream as possible.

His first class is statistics, and honestly fuck stats. He struggled through it, retained nearly nothing, then moved on to the combo class of his nightmares. 

_This boy better be gay or bi or pan or something other than straight._

He sat roughly in the middle of the amphitheater-like classroom and kept an eye on the door by holding his phone up with his elbows resting on the desk and slouching like a child. True to his nature, he got lost in his phone and failed to notice when Hot Babe walked in and plopped into the seat to his left.

Jaskier squeaked, clutching his pearls and immediately trying to suppress his giggles, “Holy shit.”

“Sorry, you alright?”

Jaskier stared up at him, dumbstruck for a moment.

_Oooooo, English._

“Yeah! Yeah, good.Hi!”

Hot Brit grinned, setting up his laptop, “Hi.” 

Jaskier took another deep breath to calm his heart, but he couldn’t decide if the jump scare or Hot Brit’s collar bones were making it beat like this. 

“You don’t have a heart condition do you?” Hot Brit was smirking now, only looking at him out of the corner of his eye as he pulled up his notes from last class. 

Jaskier tilted his head, _oh shit, he’s clever too_ , “No, thank fuck.” he laughed.

Hot Brit gave him an amused huff as the prof walked in and started shouting housekeeping announcements to the hall.

As the man was droning on about things that truly didn’t matter, Hot Brit leaned over, eyes still on the prof, and whispered, “Oh yeah, I meant to ask you, will you marry me?”

Jaskier’s eyes bulged out of his head, frozen focusing on the whiteboard, “Uh, you- what?” He whips his head around to look at Hot Brit, still looking forward, but openly smiling now. He set his phone on Jaskier’s desk, open to his tweet from this morning.

“I’m not stalking you, honest. You were on my Suggested page.”

Jaskier let the breath he was holding go, “Ooooohhh. Oh! Oh’ho’ho. Cute.” he chuckled. 

_Goddamn he’s funny_ and _smooth?_

Hot Brit just wiggled his eyebrows, looking at Jaskier with an almost perfect mask of confidence.

Jaskier took the phone and entered his number in the messenger app, “How about dinner?”

Hot Brit nodded, a hint of relief in his eyes, “I’m Geralt, by the way.”

Jaskier texted himself before handing the phone back, “Geralt. Sounds very knightly.”

Geralt snorted, earning a couple glares, as the lecture had started, “Hardly.”

Jaskier settled in with his laptop, clicking the ‘audio to text’ button, “I guessed. With all the flannel and holes.”

The two grinned at each other before Geralt focused back on their lecture. Jaskier bit his lip to keep from smiling like the Cheshire Cat. 

_Essie is gonna shit herself._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt swings by Jaskier's coffee stand.

“Shut the fuck up!”

“I’m truly not sure I could if I wanted to.” Jaskier was beaming as he showed Essie his phone the next morning on their opening shift. He and _Geralt,_ who was most definitely listed as Hot Brit in his phone, had been texting most of the day once they parted ways after class. 

“Well show me a picture!” Essie was shocked that he had finally talked to one of his class-time-crushes, let alone flirted. 

Jaskier blushed and scrolled through his phone, “He doesn’t post much, but…”

“But?”

They were interrupted by a car pulling up to Jaskier’s window. He rolled his eyes and plastered on his best customer service smile as he turned around, “Good Morning! What can I- Geralt! Hi!” 

Geralt’s smile was too pretty for this early in the morning and Jaskier felt a physical ache in his chest as he leaned out the window. 

“Morning.”

Essie nearly jumped on Jaskier’s back to stick her head out the window, “Geralt?! Hi! I’m Essie! I’ve heard a lot about you!”

Jaskier blushed and worried at his lip as Essie took Geralt’s order and disappeared back into the stand with a little teasing nudge, “What brings you out at this unholy hour?” 

Geralt rested his elbow on the truck window, “Work.”

_Ah yes. He talks like he texts. This I can work with._

Jaskier shifted so he was only leaning on one elbow and ran his hand through his hair, “And what might that be?”

Geralt’s eyes followed his hand and he took a moment to respond, making Jaskier’s heart flutter, “I, ahm, well, this morning it’s just feeding horses and getting them turned out to pasture. But I give kids riding lessons and help train therapy horses.”

Jaskier’s mouth dropped open, before turning it into a smirk, “For all your badass posturing you sure have a soft streak,” he teased, very pleased with the blush it brought to Geralt’s cheeks, “Do you have a favorite? Horse, I mean.”

“Yes! Roach,” Geralt’s eyes seemed to brighten like the glow of an Edison bulb and Jaskier never wanted to look anywhere else, “she’s an ornery bitch. I think you’d like her.” 

Jaskier’s laugh was interrupted by Essie trying to pass Geralt his coffee, but the other barista snatched it before she reached.

“Oh no. I saw you. No note passing.” Jaskier scolded Essie, picking the little folded paper out of the cup sleeve before handing Geralt his drink, “See you in class?”

He gave him a quizzical smile, “See you in class,” he agreed before driving off. 

Essie was pouting when Jaskier turned on her, eyes wide and absolutely mortified, “ _What the fuck Ess?_ ”

“I just wrote down your favorite restaurant. I was doing you a favor.”

Jaskier unfolded the paper to find that she had indeed written down the name of a cute little pizza place downtown. Except under that, she had threatened Geralt’s balls if he hurt Jaskier.

“What by scaring him off?!” he probably couldn’t hit a higher note if he tried, “He trains _therapy horses for children_ do _not_ fuck around with this one!”

Essie shrugged, “Fine. But don’t be surprised when he takes you to some sub par burger joint with neon signs and too much chrome.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geralt? Being cute? on a date? It's more likely than you think.

Geralt showed up to Jaskier’s apartment in a dark, emerald green Henley and a black denim jacket with… was that a Blue Oyster Cult patch? Jaskier had to bite his cheek to keep from all-out swooning. 

He locked the door behind him as he joined Geralt in the hallway, “I suddenly feel a bit underdressed." 

Geralt cocked his head to the side, flashing a smile that could kill a weaker man, "You look great. Don’t know what you’re talking about." 

_Oh my gods, he’s a puppy._

Jaskier’s cheeks heated up as he shoved his hands in the pockets of his mom jeans, "Th-thank you." 

“Anytime.” He stepped to the side and offered his arm like a regency romance character and Jaskier looped his arm around his elbow, leaning a little closer than he usually would but Geralt just smelled so _good_. 

“So where are we going? Or is it a surprise?” he asked as they slid into Geralt’s truck. It was old but well cared for, the type where you could flip the console up and have one long bench as the front seat. Jaskier made a note about that for later depending on how the night went. 

“Well my sister told me to be mysterious, so I’ll keep it a surprise.” Geralt revved the engine and they headed toward the freeway. 

Their conversation was easy, all the ‘where’s your family from’ type questions were out of the way by the time they got to the restaurant. And oh, Jask thought he might be in heaven. At first glance, Hunter’s Pizza was nothing special but its back porch was hanging over the river, and even from the parking lot, Jask could see a huge pizza oven in the center of the restaurant. They were seated outside next to a heater, far away from the 13-top of housewives having a birthday party, thank gods. 

Once they’d ordered, Geralt leaned back with his fingers laced behind his head, somehow making his shining white hair even messier, “So what was on that note? Or am I allowed to know?”

Jaskier pinched his thigh under the table to distract himself from those arms and fucking answer, “Oh just, Essie. She likes to meddle.” Geralt raised an eyebrow but Jaskier leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand and hoping his shirt fell open like he wanted it to, “How were the ponies this morning?”

Geralt mimicked him, leaning forward on both his elbows like he was going to tell Jaskier the secret to life, “Ponies are the devil incarnate, but the horses were fine.”

“But they’re so small and cute! How can ponies be evil?” Jaskier didn’t really care at all about ponies, but that goofy smile Geralt had going on was heavenly.

He spent the next ten minutes listening in complete rapture to why ponies were horrible little monsters and he could listen to hours more. Geralt really did look like a puppy, especially when he was excited about something. He also blew his hair out of his face a minimum of three times before he would run his hands through it, something Jaskier was very much looking forward to at this point. The best part was the hand talking, all sorts of waving and miming and… 

_Oh shit, I’m staring._

Jaskier pulled himself back to reality as Geralt ended his rant, “…never met a pony I or any horse liked.”

“You trust your horses with that? To make character judgments?”

Geralt smiled and nodded, “You should come by sometime.”

“That’s a test isn’t it?” Jaskier didn’t manage to put as much of a joking lilt into the words as he’d wanted to and thought about jumping into the river. 

But Geralt just winked at him as their server set down their pizza and plates, “I’m confident you’d pass.” 

_Sonofabitch._

-

Geralt flipped the console up on their way home and Jaskier’s heart skipped a beat as he slid across the bench, leaning into Geralt’s side with one of those giant arms draped over his shoulders. He flipped through a box of CDs, teasing Geralt about getting with the times before popping in Weezer and leaning his head against Geralt’s shoulder. 

It was well past the time he should sleep for an opening shift the next morning when they got back to his apartment but Jaskier found himself wishing he had the balls to invite Geralt in. They walked arm in arm back to his door, climbing the stairs slowly, neither of them really wanting to go home. 

When they got to his door Jaskier turned to face Geralt, planning on saying ‘thanks for the bite’ or something else noncommittal but Geralt was looking at him like he was a summer sunset and the words died on his tongue. 

Geralt’s hand trailed down his harm to his hand, hooking their pinkies together, “I had a great time tonight.”

Jaskier bit his lip and hooked their other hands together in the same way, “Me too,” he batted his eyelashes and internally swore at his body for blushing. 

“Hmmm…” Geralt inched forward, the sound coming out almost predatory and sending a thrill down Jaskier’s spine. 

“If I didn’t know better Mr. Bellegarde,” Jaskier breathed, tugging at Geralt’s pinkies to get him even a fraction of an inch closer, “I’d say you wanted to kiss me.”

Geralt’s voice came out just above a whisper, all gravely and sexy as hell, “And if I did?”

_Fuck me. This boy is going to kill me._

“I’d encourage it.”

The kiss was everything Jaskier had wanted and more. Soft but firm, warm and electric. Geralt dropped Jaskier’s hands and held him flush to his body by the hips, making Jaskier’s head spin. 

When they eventually parted Jaskier felt like he was floating. 

He didn’t even realize Geralt was ten steps down the hall when he called back to him, “See you in class?”

“Mhmm!” the squeak was embarrassing but it wasn’t entirely fair of Geralt to expect him to be coherent after a first kiss like _that._


End file.
